Life often throws you curve balls that can knock the confidence out of you. Confidence helps individuals feel positive and reassures them that they have what it takes to be successful. When you believe that you can accomplish something, you will feel determined and positive that you can reach your goal.
Many times, self-confidence diminishes when you feel worthless. Healthy self-esteem is necessary in order to walk boldly, and not fear the judgments of others. Having self-esteem will release the strongholds of people-pleasing, and living for the approval of others.
Having confidence and positive self-esteem can help you live a more fulfilling life, and be authentically you. You will be free to take risks, engage more in what you value, and celebrate who you are, instead of what others want you to be.
Here are 3 ways you can build both:
1. Stop Self-Criticism in its Tracks
In order to grow as a person, all of that negative self-talk has to stop. Here’s what you do:
The next time you have a self-critical thought, ask yourself these questions:
What evidence supports this thought?
How is this thought harmful or helpful?
Would my friends and family agree that this thought is true?
There is a very good chance that the answer to these questions will be “no.” When these intrusive thoughts pop up, because they will, ask these same questions to yourself. You will start to consider that you are something more than what your thoughts are telling you. Thoughts are just that thoughts. You have a choice to listen to them or not.
2. Keep a Journal
Not any old journal, but one where you will write down your daily victories! This is a great way to keep track of your accomplishments. Writing things down will help you to realize how much you’ve achieved throughout the week. Success comes in all sizes, so don’t discount anything small! “I finished a tough 20-minute workout.” “I was able to sit through 5 minutes of meditation today.” “I got up early and walked my dogs.” The big ones are nice, too. “I finished a half a marathon” “I was hired as the new director.” I was chosen to lead my school project.” “Write these down every day and whenever you need a confidence boost, reread what you’ve written.
3. Keep Your Commitments
Sitting at home is a sure way to ruminate in those interfering self-critical thoughts. It’s important to get around others, and interact with friends and family. If you agreed to volunteer or participate in something then follow through. Not sticking with your commitments will further negative self-critical thoughts. Empower yourself by making different choices and pushing yourself past your negative thoughts.
Have you been struggling with a lack of confidence or low self-esteem? Are you interested in learning how to live a more meaningful and authentic life? I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.